To Grinch Or Not To Grinch That Is The Question

The holidays come but once a year and traditionally it is a time to give thanks.  It is a time to celebrate and share with those you love.  But, when you are single it can be a reminder of how alone you are during the most wonderful time of the year.  That reminder can initiate one of two emotions.  The first being joy that you don't have to deal with someone else's family, that you will save money on gifts, and that you don't have to worry about getting into any arguments about the holidays.  The second emotion it can bring up is one of sadness and depression.  When you don't have kids there aren't as many gifts under the tree, there is no one to snuggle up with during the first winter blizzard, and no one to kiss at midnight on New Years Eve.

It just hit me today that I am going to be alone this holiday season and I started thinking about which one of those options I am going to embrace?  Last year during the holidays I wasn't alone but I wasn't happy....I was in love but afraid that love was slipping away from me.  My relationship with Tom had fallen into a very dark place and I really couldn't handle it.  It's a blur to me of arguments, followed by tears, followed making up, and then a few days later it would all repeat itself.  But, I don't blame the holidays for that onset of madness it just happened and it could have happened at anytime of the year.  Yet through it all I didn't let all that bad suck up the good.  I had worked really hard to let go of my old Grinch ways.  We still put up a tree, wrapped gifts, and hung our stockings with care.

There were two things that triggered me letting go of my Grinch ways love and the fact that Tom would get so damn excited about all the gifts under the tree.  It was like watching an over grown six year old opening a hot toy when he would start unwrapping.  It made the holidays fun and for me they hadn't been for a really long time.   I lost my brother a few years ago so that just makes the Holidays not what they were when I was a kid. Tom filled that void of what I felt I was missing. So out I would go to black Friday shopping, I would get excited about my new Hallmark decorations, and bake cookies whenever possible.  I was ecstatic to spend New Years at home on the couch snuggled up with my fur baby and my boyfriend. 

So fast forward to this season and my struggle with my inner Grinch.  As of right now I feel melancholy.  I still plan on putting up the tree and hanging my new ornaments because I like to decorate.  But, I'm not that excited about not really having anyone to buy gifts for besides a couple family members.  Sure it will save me money and I could buy stuff for myself; that's just not as fun as when someone else gives you a gift.  It is exciting that I am close to a new year coming which will put an end to a terrible one.  It's depressing to think I have no one to share the excitement of that new year with me.  It's not that I need a boyfriend to be happy during this time of year; I think it's just that it's a shift from what I was getting used to again that is throwing me off.

I don't want to spend the holidays as a Grinch.  There is a lot to be thankful for and there are people who love me.  It's just getting over the hump and not letting the loss of fond memories affect my demeanor.  The reality is sometimes we are alone and it isn't easy.  We just have to remember that we have to celebrate ourselves at that point.  It's a time to get in touch with who we are and who we want to become.  There are a myriad of new adventures waiting for us around the bend.  I just know that big changes are on the horizon and slowly but surely I will get everything I am wishing for......that alone will help me stop my heart from growing back to two sizes to small.

Creepers Lay Off!

This blog isn't going to be particularly detailed it's more of a vent.  Seriously what is with all the random creepers lately?! They are everywhere!! Okay so I know I am single and very celibate; that doesn't mean I am desperate.  I'm just letting the universe be in control of my next step in the love area of my life.  Yet time and time again I am being harassed by some freak I don't know.  First of all it is not cool to poke a girl you don't know on facebook.  It's weird and I don't know you so that signals stranger danger to me.  It makes a guy seem desperate and I will not poke back or ask for your number.  Second if a girl ignores you when you are trying to talk to her at a bar just leave her alone.  Third cat calling a girl in a parking lot, at the mall, on the road, wherever is not attractive.  I am not going to stop what I am doing so that you can holla at me.  I'm not a hooker standing on a street corner.  Maybe this wouldn't be such an issue if these men were good looking?  But then again maybe it's not the looks thing but the you are a displaying the potential to be a rapper.  I can get over looks at time my ex-boyfriend resembled a young Charles Manson.  But this is no way to court a lady.  No wonder I prefer to spend night alone!

Divorce Everyone is Doing It!

It seems like every five minutes someone else is getting engaged.  Then five minutes later someone you know is getting divorced.  The vows of till death due us part don't matter anymore.  It has become till things get hard and then we will get divorced.  Now I have never been married (although maybe in my last relationship I might as well have been) but I'm pretty sure that just because there are issues it doesn't mean you are supposed to just quit. Kim K is the latest tabloid divorce; married just 72 day to Humps.  Do I think the whole situation is stupid?  Absolutely! But maybe she is just like most women except she is in Hollywood so the clock moves much faster?

Let's think about it.  Most women like Kim K have dreamed of their wedding day since they were little girls.  Meeting that special guy, having him get down on one knee, and putting on a fancy white dress.  It's a beautiful image for most of us. We can't hate on Kim K for having that same dream.  For some of us that dream comes true pretty quick.  Married with children all before the age of twenty five.  For the rest of us we start playing the waiting game.  Fantasy's about if this guy is to be the "one."  Years go on and like Kim K some of us will become desperate.  Women become afraid that society will dub them an old maid.  They make goals to become married to the next one because after all as long as they have waited he will be the right one.  Then the child brides who are now divorces jump on the wagon and fear they have to find husband number two ASAP!

The search begins and many of us like Kim K find a new relationship.  With in a few months or a year the dream becomes true and an engagement happens.  But is the guy really the one or is he just a Kris Humphries?  Sure maybe there are those people who find love at first sight.  The truth is it is few and far between when that actually happens.  It takes a while to really get to know someone so rushing into a marriage can be a recipe for disaster. Yet women don't think about that because they are in love with the fantasy. About being a bride, having a husband, and a family. Everything is all good and then the honeymoon ends.

Reality sets in and people will realize they are practically strangers.  Things that should be discussed before an engagement happens come up and cannot be resolved.  The bickering starts, bills start coming in, and sometimes babies. All Hell starts breaking loose and people are pushed to their limits.  Marriage isn't easy and it's too much pressure.  Plus now that they have done it once or twice they could always try again with someone else.  Divorce papers get filed in no time and it's on to the next one.  It's no big deal to them and with in two months they are a la Jennifer Lopez so in love with a new guy.

We are a disposable society and there is nothing that is sacred anymore.  I can understand and relate to these insecurities we feel and the pressure to be married I am a woman after all.  But I am not a person that settles or will rush into anything.  Maybe that is because I am emotionally traumatized from my last relationship. But, since that relationship was so complicated it gave me a preview of the hurdles that could potentially come up in a marriage.  It was a lot of work and I wasn't planning on just quitting. You take the good and the bad of a person when it is really love.  If I didn't quit that there is no way I am going to quit my husband.  Therefore I choose to be picky. 

Everyone around me can do what they want; they can all be Kim K's. But I will keep waiting and that maybe a long while.  I don't think being a divorce' is cool and I hate dating.  The last thing I want to do is being thrown into that scene after I was finally out of it.  Let's be serious there are a ton of creepy leaky's out there!  So do yourselves a favor before you make the leap ask yourself if you really know this person you are going to marry?  Do you really know you?  If you can't securely answer both those questions in detail it is probably a bad idea.

It Doesn't Matter Where You Live Or Who You Live Off....Your Crew Is Still Busted!

There are people who believe if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all....well sorry folks but I am not one of those people.  In this small city there will always be those who want to fly with the eagles but they can't because they are ostriches.  Often times I am quite entertained by the stories of these flightless birds and their attempt to be awesome.  My favorite loser is Meggles....she is the worst gold digging whore I have ever met ( when I mean the worst I mean that she isn't even with real rich guys; she is into rich guy knock offs).  Ever since I can remember this girl she has been nothing but a fourth runner up!  Her closest crew consists of two other ostriches (rule number one rich guys travel in packs Meggles and no one wants to hook up with the girl hanging with the busted looking crew).  She is that girl who had a "keep a nigga baby" with a broke ass.  Meggles is the girl who marries a scam artist and claims she knew nothing about his "past" when he scams once again.  That is funny stuff because the entire state of Michigan knew he was a criminal.

Now this loser has escaped her turmoil of being deceived by a scam artist.  She has left behind their beautiful home on the lake (which was a rental) and her two carat engagement ring (which was fake and for serious girl if you are going to live off men learn to tell the difference between a diamond and a CZ).  She has found her way back into the arms of her baby daddy and they are moving hours away to an undisclosed location.  This is because everyone is jealous of her and hates.  Really I think we all just like to make fun of her and her ugly friends because they are pathetic.

 Well I have some words of advice for Meggles.  One your man is a cheater; he cheated to get with you, he cheats on you, and will never stop cheating.  Two keep telling people how much money you to have.....we all know it's lies and you both have bad credit.  Three the only reason you are a full time mommy is because you are lazy and stupid.  You lack any real education and you failed at working in a bar.  Seriously you are a moron and no one would hire you for anything more then $9.00 an hour.  Therefore you have no choice but to live off men.  Four new places do not change situations.  The same bullshit will happen to you wherever you live because you are a loser.  You are not capable of living the life of a Real Housewife because you will always be a broke ass hoe.  Five we all know that you play victim for attention.  Meggles the only thing you are victim of is being a dumb bitch and the reason no one feels sorry for you is due to the amount of people you have screwed over. 

There will be people out there who will read this and think I am a mean ass.  Well I am and everything I have written I would share right to the face of this idiot and her busted crew.  Actually I just reminded one of her besties that yes I did feel that there was no need for her to wear a mask to a Halloween party because she is butt ugly on Friday.  I have no mercy for those who are a waste of sperm and egg.....yes Meggles that means you!

Most Busted Looking Crew of the Year Award Goes To.......

Hey Guys this is Grand Rapids not New Jersey

There are days when I am casually looking at facebook and I think really do the men of this city get their fashion tips from the Situation?  It's horrible all those ugly tattoo shirts and Ed Hardy.  Their skin is so tan they look orange and their heads look tiny because their arms are so big.  They don't look cute!  Actually they look like freaks and most of them are idiots. People wonder why I never go on dates.  It's because the dating pool consists of guys that are so juiced up I am afraid they are going to rage out on me.  The couple that spray tans together does not stay together.  Things get worse each week with these Jersey wanna be's.  Just today I seen one offender wearing eyeliner in his facebook picture.  I know Halloween is just around the corner but seriously it is really disturbing.  What happened to a nice polo shirt, clean jeans, and topsiders? I don't want anything to do with this outbreak of ridiculous.  I will not be turned to the darkside!  I will take a nerd in a "to catch a mocking bird" shirt from schulers any day instead.  As a matter of fact I would rather be celibate then ever kiss a guy in an affliction shirt.....no joke.

The offensive style that must be banished


Seriously what the fuck is this?


What do you call a cluster of douche bags?



Eww disgusting!!!



One more for the cheap seats!

Now what ever happened to the good old fashioned American boy?  I miss seeing those guys...





Now aren't they so much better!

Today's LOLZ

It seems no matter where we work we will all encounter annoying co-workers.  Lucky for me the number of them has taken a drastic reduction since I switched jobs.  But, there are still a handful of thorns in my side.  One of the guys has a boring name and so does his wife.  They seem like they are the two dullest people on the planet.  It's no wonder he hates life his sex life if it exists probably consists of missionary and more missionary....that would create a life hater out of a man.  So when the annoying ones are particularly bad I must find something to amuse myself with so I thought, "I think it's time for some LOLZ of the day."

Nightmare on Pug Street.


I mean this is GREAT!  Pug life is a lifestyle after all but good Pugs can go bad.

Pissed off Puss in Boots


He just looks so angry it's like he got ready for a date he really didn't want to go on.

The Headless Retriever


I had to do a double take because I really thought this dog was a cow for some reason.  To the costume designer BRAVO!

Yo Querro Taco Bell


Of course since I LOVE Chihuahua's I couldn't help but giggle and think about how cute this was!

Last but not least Britney Chi-Wow

I would love to get this adorable outfit for Poochie and I to match.  Hilarious!!

Things I Have Released at Thirty

I have been thirty for almost six months now.....hooray.  Honestly it doesn't feel much different then being twenty nine.  I still have most of the same problems I did back then; although I have zero tolerance for dramatic situations at this point.  But as life continues on there were some things I decided to leave behind in my twenties. The easiest decisions on what to release were in the realm of fashion.  There are several reasons the main three being:
1. My sisters wear similar items and I am twelve years their senior.
2. In Style and Vogue say it's a fashion don't in your thirties.
3. I don't want to look like the old broad who is trying to hard to hold on to her youth.

I have decided to list my top five banishment's for your reading enjoyment and perhaps I can aid you from making inappropriate wardrobe choices for your age bracket.

1. The first thing I chose to let go of was the jean mini skirt.  There was a time it was my go to piece for a night at Mojo's (a bar I have also let go of to the next generation).  It was short and care free.  It is also the staple item of a twenty one year old girl which I am not and quite frankly I look absolutely ridiculous in them paired with my pearls.

2. On to the next one and that was actually any items from a chain of stores including Ambercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle.  There is a big problem wearing something that I chose to wear for my school picture in the 9th grade. These brands should be reserved for people under twenty five only.

3. To my donation bin also goes tube tops (not to be mistaken with strapless cocktail wear).  First of all they never really look that good and most people don't pair them with the right bottoms.  I also have a big chest and I refuse to have my bra straps showing and I won't use the clear ones.  They also remind me of Debs...which is bad news.

4. String Bikini's are also going into the trash.  I am a skinny girl and they make me look fat (which seems to be the effect on most people).  They are just not for everyone and now that I am thirty I feel like I should know better then to wear a swimsuit that adds twenty pounds.  There are so many other options out there that actually compliment my figure (which is a really nice bod).

5. The last thing I have decided to never ever wear again is shirts that show my tummy a la Winnie the pooh or on purpose.  The only place I should be wearing anything like that is at the beach club while I am on vacation. The trend should really be reserved for those under twenty two and I think it looks really trashy.  I don't even have a muffin top and I am banishing these shirts forever more.

I am sure as time passes I will continue to add things to the list.  On top of fashion there are various life situations I have chosen to just say no to like guys with out jobs, friends that might sleep with your boyfriend, and being nice to people I don't like.  I am excited to embrace new things like wearing pearls with anything, nice dinner dates instead bar dates, and being sure of who I am.  So as I say good bye to some of the fashion mistakes of my past I dream of couture.