It Doesn't Matter Where You Live Or Who You Live Off....Your Crew Is Still Busted!

There are people who believe if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all....well sorry folks but I am not one of those people.  In this small city there will always be those who want to fly with the eagles but they can't because they are ostriches.  Often times I am quite entertained by the stories of these flightless birds and their attempt to be awesome.  My favorite loser is Meggles....she is the worst gold digging whore I have ever met ( when I mean the worst I mean that she isn't even with real rich guys; she is into rich guy knock offs).  Ever since I can remember this girl she has been nothing but a fourth runner up!  Her closest crew consists of two other ostriches (rule number one rich guys travel in packs Meggles and no one wants to hook up with the girl hanging with the busted looking crew).  She is that girl who had a "keep a nigga baby" with a broke ass.  Meggles is the girl who marries a scam artist and claims she knew nothing about his "past" when he scams once again.  That is funny stuff because the entire state of Michigan knew he was a criminal.

Now this loser has escaped her turmoil of being deceived by a scam artist.  She has left behind their beautiful home on the lake (which was a rental) and her two carat engagement ring (which was fake and for serious girl if you are going to live off men learn to tell the difference between a diamond and a CZ).  She has found her way back into the arms of her baby daddy and they are moving hours away to an undisclosed location.  This is because everyone is jealous of her and hates.  Really I think we all just like to make fun of her and her ugly friends because they are pathetic.

 Well I have some words of advice for Meggles.  One your man is a cheater; he cheated to get with you, he cheats on you, and will never stop cheating.  Two keep telling people how much money you to have.....we all know it's lies and you both have bad credit.  Three the only reason you are a full time mommy is because you are lazy and stupid.  You lack any real education and you failed at working in a bar.  Seriously you are a moron and no one would hire you for anything more then $9.00 an hour.  Therefore you have no choice but to live off men.  Four new places do not change situations.  The same bullshit will happen to you wherever you live because you are a loser.  You are not capable of living the life of a Real Housewife because you will always be a broke ass hoe.  Five we all know that you play victim for attention.  Meggles the only thing you are victim of is being a dumb bitch and the reason no one feels sorry for you is due to the amount of people you have screwed over. 

There will be people out there who will read this and think I am a mean ass.  Well I am and everything I have written I would share right to the face of this idiot and her busted crew.  Actually I just reminded one of her besties that yes I did feel that there was no need for her to wear a mask to a Halloween party because she is butt ugly on Friday.  I have no mercy for those who are a waste of sperm and egg.....yes Meggles that means you!

Most Busted Looking Crew of the Year Award Goes To.......

Hey Guys this is Grand Rapids not New Jersey

There are days when I am casually looking at facebook and I think really do the men of this city get their fashion tips from the Situation?  It's horrible all those ugly tattoo shirts and Ed Hardy.  Their skin is so tan they look orange and their heads look tiny because their arms are so big.  They don't look cute!  Actually they look like freaks and most of them are idiots. People wonder why I never go on dates.  It's because the dating pool consists of guys that are so juiced up I am afraid they are going to rage out on me.  The couple that spray tans together does not stay together.  Things get worse each week with these Jersey wanna be's.  Just today I seen one offender wearing eyeliner in his facebook picture.  I know Halloween is just around the corner but seriously it is really disturbing.  What happened to a nice polo shirt, clean jeans, and topsiders? I don't want anything to do with this outbreak of ridiculous.  I will not be turned to the darkside!  I will take a nerd in a "to catch a mocking bird" shirt from schulers any day instead.  As a matter of fact I would rather be celibate then ever kiss a guy in an affliction shirt.....no joke.

The offensive style that must be banished


Seriously what the fuck is this?


What do you call a cluster of douche bags?



Eww disgusting!!!



One more for the cheap seats!

Now what ever happened to the good old fashioned American boy?  I miss seeing those guys...





Now aren't they so much better!

Today's LOLZ

It seems no matter where we work we will all encounter annoying co-workers.  Lucky for me the number of them has taken a drastic reduction since I switched jobs.  But, there are still a handful of thorns in my side.  One of the guys has a boring name and so does his wife.  They seem like they are the two dullest people on the planet.  It's no wonder he hates life his sex life if it exists probably consists of missionary and more missionary....that would create a life hater out of a man.  So when the annoying ones are particularly bad I must find something to amuse myself with so I thought, "I think it's time for some LOLZ of the day."

Nightmare on Pug Street.


I mean this is GREAT!  Pug life is a lifestyle after all but good Pugs can go bad.

Pissed off Puss in Boots


He just looks so angry it's like he got ready for a date he really didn't want to go on.

The Headless Retriever


I had to do a double take because I really thought this dog was a cow for some reason.  To the costume designer BRAVO!

Yo Querro Taco Bell


Of course since I LOVE Chihuahua's I couldn't help but giggle and think about how cute this was!

Last but not least Britney Chi-Wow

I would love to get this adorable outfit for Poochie and I to match.  Hilarious!!

Things I Have Released at Thirty

I have been thirty for almost six months now.....hooray.  Honestly it doesn't feel much different then being twenty nine.  I still have most of the same problems I did back then; although I have zero tolerance for dramatic situations at this point.  But as life continues on there were some things I decided to leave behind in my twenties. The easiest decisions on what to release were in the realm of fashion.  There are several reasons the main three being:
1. My sisters wear similar items and I am twelve years their senior.
2. In Style and Vogue say it's a fashion don't in your thirties.
3. I don't want to look like the old broad who is trying to hard to hold on to her youth.

I have decided to list my top five banishment's for your reading enjoyment and perhaps I can aid you from making inappropriate wardrobe choices for your age bracket.

1. The first thing I chose to let go of was the jean mini skirt.  There was a time it was my go to piece for a night at Mojo's (a bar I have also let go of to the next generation).  It was short and care free.  It is also the staple item of a twenty one year old girl which I am not and quite frankly I look absolutely ridiculous in them paired with my pearls.

2. On to the next one and that was actually any items from a chain of stores including Ambercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle.  There is a big problem wearing something that I chose to wear for my school picture in the 9th grade. These brands should be reserved for people under twenty five only.

3. To my donation bin also goes tube tops (not to be mistaken with strapless cocktail wear).  First of all they never really look that good and most people don't pair them with the right bottoms.  I also have a big chest and I refuse to have my bra straps showing and I won't use the clear ones.  They also remind me of Debs...which is bad news.

4. String Bikini's are also going into the trash.  I am a skinny girl and they make me look fat (which seems to be the effect on most people).  They are just not for everyone and now that I am thirty I feel like I should know better then to wear a swimsuit that adds twenty pounds.  There are so many other options out there that actually compliment my figure (which is a really nice bod).

5. The last thing I have decided to never ever wear again is shirts that show my tummy a la Winnie the pooh or on purpose.  The only place I should be wearing anything like that is at the beach club while I am on vacation. The trend should really be reserved for those under twenty two and I think it looks really trashy.  I don't even have a muffin top and I am banishing these shirts forever more.

I am sure as time passes I will continue to add things to the list.  On top of fashion there are various life situations I have chosen to just say no to like guys with out jobs, friends that might sleep with your boyfriend, and being nice to people I don't like.  I am excited to embrace new things like wearing pearls with anything, nice dinner dates instead bar dates, and being sure of who I am.  So as I say good bye to some of the fashion mistakes of my past I dream of couture.

Look I Don't Come to Work to Make Friends!

The office a place where the majority of us spend five days a week and most of the hours we are awake.  Some people love to go to work not because they have this drive to be the best, but instead because it is there outlet for socialization.  I am not one of those people.  I have had many jobs and many of them I was even fired from (I have this thing about authority and not taking orders).  For the most part I enjoy my job as an advisor.  It is a good stepping stone for my career path.  However, I work with a ton of women and cry baby men, who love to have water cooler talk.

There was a time I would have joined in on their happy hours.  I would have been a part of the inner circle of coolness.  Those times are long gone and I have no interest in making friends with anyone at work.  I prefer to be an outcast and just do my job.  Sure I will make small talk and that is where my story ends.  I am a mystery so they can view me as stuck up.  That is completely fine with me.  I had to learn the hard way that 98% of the people you work with really are not real friends.

Way back when I was a work place socialite I decided to befriend a girl we will call her Jen.  She was going through a break up and didn't have many girlfriends.  I also was friendly with most of the people I worked with going out for happy hours and their stupid tupperware parties.  During that time it just so happened I was dating a co-worker ( I sorta met him at work but he is part of that 2% of descent work friends I have made) who so happened to be the cell phone stores most eligible bachelor.  I had no idea he was such prime relestate I just thought he was funny.

 Turns out these work friends decided to sabotage me and went back to him with stories of things I "shared" with them.  Well none of it was true and it created quite the argument.  Then my good friend Jen said, "well I will talk to him and tell him they are lying." Her idea of talking to him was sending him naked pictures of herself and asking him if she could give him a blow job.  She also took it upon herself to tell him all sorts of crazy things that were not true about me. All of a sudden I was the devil to this guy and that lasted a while.  We are friends now but that is besides the point. I didn't find out about what she was really doing for well over a year and when I confronted her she lied to my face about it all.

All of her plotting created nothing but chaos for me at work.  I became the office slut and the truth was I wasn't at all.  I dated one guy and it got blown out of proportion because of my work friends.  It made things unbearable for me at work.  I learned my lesson it is already hard enough to have problems with a sketchball friend outside of work, but at least you can just cut those people off.  If it happens with work people you still have to face them every day.  Jen played the victim and of course I was the villain.  I'm not fake and I can't suck up to people I don't care about like her or just to get something I want out of them.  Turns out karma bit her in the ass, she got married for money, and now she is miserable.  But never again do I want people to be in the know about me.  I will remain a lone ranger and all anyone needs to know is I love my dog which is why I have hundreds of pictures of her in my cubical.  I don't care how annoyed they get that I don't want to be a part of their potlucks and happy hours.  I am done with the work friends scene.  I have about four of them that turned out to be true blue and I have no desire to try to add more to my list.

Just Because Elizabeth Taylor Died Doesn't Mean You Were Supposed To Fill Her Shoes....

Elizabeth Taylor had many lovers and husbands.  She even married one guy twice!  She was a beauty; always draped in diamonds and couture.  Sadly we cannot live forever so her time eventually came.  That does not mean there is a vacancy to fill her shoes by anyone.  Especially not in Grand Rapids Michigan! Day after day I hear stories and I read posts.  Girls in this town go through boyfriends, fiance's, and husbands like water.  It simply amazes me at how quick the turnover rate is and they all have a story. 

Many of them want you to feel sorry for them because they had no idea the guy they were using for money was a fraud (yeah right).  Or their husbands didn't make enough money resulting in them having to leave them because once their credit was destroyed they could no longer afford to buy designer jeans.  Babies are born to different daddies as quickly as the reproduction rate of the rat.  The kids end up with many "uncles."  A note to those women....Liz Taylor didn't do the "uncle" thing that was Joan Crawford.  They move from one guy to the next living off of them; doing nothing for themselves.  They couldn't possibly go to school or work because then they would never have time to go to forever 21 to buy fake jewelry to match their knock off Chanel purses.

To them divorce is no big deal because Liz did it and she was fabulous.  Plus they are all Christian women and God would never give them a challenge they couldn't handle.  Well when you were cheating on your husband or home wreaking....I bet God loved that!  Yes these women aren't divas they are skanks.  They make the rest of us who actually struggled in past relationships or value marriage look bad.  The reason is because they are so easy it makes us look stuck up.  Sometimes those Liz's will gather in groups like animals on the African plains and talk about how great they are doing.  They will discuss how we the non-Liz's are just jealous of their lives because we are washed up old maids.

Well I hate to burst the bubble but eventually people catch on to the games those kinds of women play.  Instead of thinking what a Liz Taylor she is men start to think about how you can't turn a whore into a housewife.  They will hit rock bottom and sometimes can't find their way out because they have no real survival skills.  We aren't jealous of these losers; we pity them.  We enjoy laughing at their stupidity.  Because the thing about Liz Taylor is that she might have been a tramp but she was a smart one.  She made her own money with her own talents and that was something no man could ever take from her.  These wanna be's on the other hand should hire themselves a pimp or start researching the bunny ranch because the smarts gene was left out of their DNA make up.