Life is Dysfunction Naturally Love Follows Suit

This isn't going to make a whole lot of sense I am sure.  I haven't been able to eat for a few days thanks to the flu.  My brain feels like it is going to explode.  Oh and where is my one true love?  No where to be found.  Much too busy tending to things that important men who have no life do.  While here I lay suffering in agony.  I know I have messed up my relationship here and there.  I know in general I can be a fuck up but I just want to say GET OVER IT!!!!

Yeah get off your high fucking horse and get over it.  We are human beings and we screw up.  Matter of fact you have screwed up on several occasions.  What did I do?  Well I cried about it and then because I love you I released that shit to the abyss.  I didn't have a damn attack about it that was never ending and bring it up ALL the time.

Here is the deal I know we love each other.  We are the most selfish people in the world and the fact that we even would buy the other a soda is something.  No one else out there will ever put up with our shit.  Don't be afraid of the dysfunction because that is who were are as human beings.  We are the type that messes up A LOT.  But love is stronger then all that shit and it is what matters.  What matters is we are a team.  We are a family and fuck I don't want to lose that.  I want to blow up shit with you.  I miss you.

Those are all the things I really want to say to him, but I don't.  It's because I am afraid.  I don't know from one day to the next if I am going to lose him forever.  It's always different from him and I am scared to take the risk that I will never feel his love again.  I really pray I am saved from this dysfunctional existence and we can move on together. But until then I have to pass out again.....I'm too sick to deal with any of this.