First I want to say that I started doing this as an outlet for my sorrows and all the terrible shit that comes out of being in a relationship with someone who is half redneck half frat boy with a side of addiction. Well as I was sitting around plotting my next move and watching The Real Housewives of New York City (excellent show if you haven't watched you are missing out on life) something wonderful happened. I found out this that idiot girl Meggles (aka I used to torment her in high school and think her value on earth is equal to that of a maggot) and her master plan of becoming a trophy wife had exploded in her face. It was epic to say the least and I have been laughing about it for several days.
Now if you are new to my blog well welcome and I need to remind everyone I am not really a nice person. If there was a way to put a picture in the urban dictionary's definition of mean girl well I have a couple that they can use of moi. I suppose that I should give some background on the dumbest bitch in West Michigan aka Meggles. Lets see gets married to her high school sweetheart, gets divorced, gets fired from her nanny job due to drunken antics and the family whom she nannied for repo's BMW. Decides to become a bar star moves in with friends, gets knocked up by an Asian guy she believed to be rich, later finds out he isn't so her trap back fires (hilarious so far huh) and while pregnant gets friends evicted from apartment due to her lack of employment. Meggles never pays friends back for eviction, gets fired from several bar jobs because she lacks personality. Meets some meat head who everyone in town knows is a scam artist, yet she marries him with in a few months because he promises her life long dream of being trophy wife, they share the perfection of their relationship via facebook for our entertainment, and Meggles brags about her "two carats." As her enemy and being in touch with my psychic side I wait by the side lines for this to all fall apart so I can watch with my popcorn and evil laugh.
I knew this girl was not as smart as Gretchen ala RHW of Orange County. This meat head wasn't dying of some cancer and she wasn't going to get some big fat check when he dropped dead. Meggles wasn't going to sing out, "State Farm Is There" like Gretchen, get her own handbag line she didn't design herself, and start making sex tapes with some guy named Slade (see you gotta watch The Real Housewives it's great stuff). Anyway one fine summer day her life fell apart and I finally got to open that glorious box of boy scout popcorn; only the best for me baby. You might be able to take the scam artist out of prison but you can't that prison mentality out of the scam artist.....bam he got her ass! On a side note Ben her meathead husband is my hero now; he gave me some great material don't drop the soap buddy.
The idiot found out her life was a lie! Her rich man, her meal ticket, he was back to his old tricks.....hello embezzlement. Meggles who loved to brag about living on her fancy lake, well that lake wasn't hers cause that fake housewife had a landlord. That meathead left her high and dry. Her cell phone shut off, her jewelry including her two carats all as fake as her cheap extensions, and life as she knew it over. Her plan of greatness was foiled and she went from being a star on the scene (which I hate to break it to the citizens of West Michigan but being a some body on the bar scene actually makes you look cheap and being a guest list at a bar with no line doesn't buy you class) to having to resort to selling everything her her rental house! Oh marvelous days of glory I am loving watching every second of this lifetime movie.
But hearing about what is going on is just the icing on the cake. Thanks to my amazing mean girl inner circle I have been forwarded every exciting facebook and text message entry in regards to her demise. Meggles has become little miss oh life will get better, oh keep my business out of your mouth, oh I will get through this....apparently she would like to lead people to believe she is a Gloria ganier song. But the truth is I know this bitch is dying inside, this girl who gave up alcohol because she is such an adult but fell of the wagon already due to her sobriety being an act, miss I'm a great mom but check out these pictures of me at the bar. This piece of shit is going to remain in the bog of eternal stench where she belongs for a long time. She won't even be able to get a real job because she has no skills or education.
So a note to idiots like Meggles don't try to fly with the eagles if you are nothing but a duck because you will get shot down. One does not become a trophy wife by simply having Michigan hot looks and a brain the size of a peanut. Take some lessons from The Real Housewives; they may act stupid but they are not. They all have something to fall back on, some trust fund, some prenup, some business even if it is selling bedding on the Internet. They are sales women selling the benefits of putting them on a pedestal not just the outer package. No real man who is actually looking for a trophy wife wants some broad who is nothing but a washed up bar star in a city that is about as important as a penny is valuable. But go a head girl keep doing your thing because it gives me plenty to laugh and blog about.
