This past weekend someone commented to me that I might as well admit I was in my past relationship because of all the gifts I would receive. She said that she knew I was the kind of girl that could marry for money. The girl said she envied my ability to look out for no one but myself. I found myself quite offended by her comments and I didn't respond to her at all. I just smiled and walked away from her after all she didn't know me very well. These were assumptions and everyone has them; it's just not often that they vocalize what they are thinking.
The truth is that money had absolutely nothing to do with my relationship with Tom not even in a tiny way. Like anyone woman naturally I did love getting gifts from Tiffany's, Coach, and Pandora. However, even if the gifts were not coming it would not have changed the way that I felt. Tom did not buy my affections in order to win me over. I am not sure what other people assume but he is not a wealthy man by any means. He is just average, he has an average job, with an average home, drives an average car, and makes an average salary. Tom did not come from wealth at all; as a matter of fact he was as far from the spectrum of privileged as a person could be. Everything he has he had to work for and even if some of that came from his winnings at the card table no one just gave him anything.
I did not set my eyes on him and think now that is my ticket to easy living. I am sure that is what many people have imagined including relatives. Now every family thinks their own is a prize to be won but lets be serious when it comes to economics he and I are not very different. There is nothing so different about his bank account verses any other middle class college graduate. I was not dreaming of grandeur at all nor was I living some extravagant lifestyle by being with him. Gifts were a way to say I'm sorry or I care.....but we had no children I am sure things would be very different if we had other people we were responsible for because there would be more expenses.
I know it is hard to believe but I was with Tom because I loved him. I was not with him because I was being a gold digger. I loved that we shared the same sense of humor, that I could be myself with him, and that he was so much like me. I was with him because he made me happy and most importantly he made me laugh. It had nothing to do with anything else. Honestly, I would have traded every single gift he ever gave me in exchange for the problems never settling in and destroying everything. I am sure I would have fell in love with him even if he was a popper. If he would have lost everything it wouldn't have mattered to me.
I'm a romantic and in my life as much as security is important; it's not a priority. I choose to be with the person who I look at at think I want to be with them every single day. Not thank God he can buy me a Mercedes and take me to Paris. Money may make the world go round but passion is what makes a relationship last. To all the doubters my love was honest and it was true. If it wasn't those things I would have never done some of the things I did....I simply would have moved on to my next victim. But, I didn't because the emotions I felt were so profound I even have a hard time explaining them and they never could have been described by a little teal box because they had no price tag.
