I can't sleep again.....Tom is sick. In fact his sickness is more of an injury....one that is almost like a cancer that comes out remission whenever it feels like it. It eats away at his brain like one of those worms on that show monsters inside me. When it comes around he can't think and it starts to eat away at his brain one cell at a time. That means Tom is out for the season. That parasite that creates the injury typically likes to first take a bite out of the cells that make him compassionate to the feelings of others...me in particular.
Tom forgets how to speak English and starts speaking a language I like to call bullshitsinism. He will call you to come closer only to say your scent reminds him of day old hot dog water and pickles. Tom hates pickles, he throws anything with pickles away....outside. He becomes two people King Tom the lion hearted and King Tom the Cobra. Snakes are the assholes of the animal kingdom and I happen to have a phobia of them. So when King Cobra comes out naturally I freak out and typically end up crying cause I am terrified.
Then maybe an hour or a day will pass and the parasite falls asleep after a vigorous meal. Guess who comes along? My Tom the lionheart, the champion in my world. The one who always makes everything OK. I take it all in; the softness of his voice, the delicate smell of his shirt, and the warmth of those big fuzzy paws that are around me. But when he is injured and that parasite comes back he doesn't sleep for long. Eventually my lionheart makes his appearances less and less until he is almost erased. King cobra Tom sinks his venom in me over and over again until I am so weak I can't eat or sleep.
He banishes me from his kingdom. He tells me those who he does not love can never return. It is really hard to breath because of all of the poison so I can really say anything back. But just before all hope is lost. As I gather my papers and bits from about the little cozy den I turn around and Tom the Lionheart is behind me. He promises the injury will eventually heal and I can come back again. But I have to leave or surely I will die. The treatment for the injury must be taken alone, behind closed doors, it is something I cannot be a apart of. Most people will think how kind, but the problem is this: I am left alone, full of venom, and there is no saying how long it will take to kill the parasite. It could be year, a month, 3 months, or ten days. That gives me the opportunity to run but it's hard when you know such a brave lion will be there when it's all said and done. The world is cold and I want to be warm. So as of this moment I sit and I try to figure out if I want to petition God for something, just how do I pray?
