Typically I don't like to pass judgement or get involved in other people's relationships. I know what it's like to have interference from outside influence and I also know what it's like to have serious problems that need to be dealt with as a couple. But all of that changes when someone brings you into their drama. Typically that happens when they refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions. They want to find someone to blame for their relationship falling apart. I don't deal with that kind of shit.
First of all I have been completely open on my blog about the issues that Tom and I have had over the years. There were people both family and friends who enjoyed adding fuel to the fire when it came to the issues we had. Sometimes we let those opinions effect our relationship and other times we did not. In the last four plus years we have loved and hated each other. We have been together and we have been separated. There were times we acted out in the most foolish and idiotic ways. I did stupid things out of desperation and he did stupid things out of fear. But those things we did never involved other people and eventually we always admitted what we did wrong. Eventually we would forgive each other. Sometimes it would take a couple of days or like now months could pass. I will be the first to say I'm sorry for what I did, I love Tom, but I don't like the way that he was treating me. I will tell anyone there is no way for us to be together if he isn't willing to face our problems head on and work as a team to overcome them. I think that is a healthy thought and so does my shrink.
Back to the losers, well more like the chicken shits who refuse to look in the mirror and say what I did is my fault....it was really screwed up of me. Those people who cheat and lie because they think they are invincible. Recently I separated myself from a friend because of her constant relationship dramas. I was sick of boyfriends and husbands calling me looking for her at four am. I was annoyed with how irresponsible she was with her relationships; jumping from one to the next just because she was board. But even still myself and others get dragged in. When you do something awful like cheat the truth always comes out and apparently it did for her yet again. Yet instead of saying yes I cheated on my husband her story is it's all lies my friend is so jealous of me she made it up. She had to find a scape goat.
Bottom line I didn't make her do anything or make anything up. Matter of fact I don't even speak to her. I'll let her blame me because I don't really care to get involved. The thing is she can deny whatever she wants and in the end that will be the demise of her marriage. Some other issue will come up over something else she does and she won't be able to blame anyone. Her husband won't be willing to work with her because he won't find her to be honest. That will be no ones fault but her own. She didn't really love him or herself enough maybe. If she did she would have said she screwed up and done whatever she could to save her marriage the right way.
In the meantime yes I am alone but I am not jealous. I feel like I am going about dealing with the issues Tom and I created properly. There are things I need to work on and so does he.....whether we remained a couple or not. We never let it get to the point where we were cheating and bringing others into our problems. The emotional trauma we caused remained in between the four walls of our little home. We have only pointed the finger at each other and never did we say it's all their fault. I always thought Tom and I were very immature....after this whole fiasco maybe we are not. At least in the end we may have to spend a lot seeing a shrink but we won't be on cheaters.
