Every girl in America knows the love story. Carrie meets Mr. Big and he perplexes her so much she falls in love. Mr. Big loves her, he breaks up with her, he loves her again, something is missing from her, he breaks up with her again, she moves on, he breaks up the relationship, he loves her again, something else goes wrong, he breaks up with her again. They are friends, they hate each other, everyone is frustrated with Big and rooting for Carrie. They love each other again, he tells her, he takes it back. She moves on, it goes wrong, Mr. Big rescues her. He finally decides to marry her, it's too complicated he backs out, then changes his mind.....now it's forever.
While the Carrie and Mr. Big love story has inspired women all over the world to believe that love finds a way and that not everyone gets their happily ever after so easily; it has also done something for men. It's made it okay for them to have a little something called Mr. Big Syndrome or MBS. We are in an age where men think it is perfectly normal for them to put a woman on hold not once but multiple times. That is because he believes thanks to Carrie Bradshaw if she is his she will always be his. He has a built in radar that detects when she maybe happy or moving on and "shits on it" like Carrie once said by offering his love and I'm sorrys only to repeat the same pattern.
How do I know so much about MBS? Well it's because I have realized I have found myself in a MBS situation. Let's rewind for a second to a few events past. Break up with Tom number one. Things are going fabulous, I am supportive, although immature, but confident in my relationship. Bam MBS break up excuse number one: Things happen fast and unplanned. I never got to court you and you don't look the way imagined my wife. I go on drinking binges with friends and Tom gets the chance to date "an idiot stick figure with no soul." Although stick figure she is not nor is she attractive....actually she is kind of a secret. I date a couple Aidan's here and there. Tom does not like this....on goes the radar....he's back. A few months of bliss follow but MBS can't resist itself. Break Up Two: You have everything I want in a wife but something is missing and I need to find the person with that piece. Seriously....it's like real life sex and the city with not as awesome clothes.
Result Tom goes on sabbatical aka his "Napa." He does come back shortly for his "heart surgery" aka birthday month. But like Mr. Big his heart closes back up. So I continue to live my life. Just as things are starting to settle into place.....buzzz there's that MBS radar it's flashed him a warning. Suddenly the inner circle of friends is blasting with MBS talk from Tom. He could see himself spending his life with me. It could work out. He wants someone a little more reserved. He wants someone that puts him in his place. He misses me so much. He can't dare call. He is upset I'm on the town. This part of the MBS cycle requires him to get approval from "the girls" to go after his Carrie. However, this cannot completely happen until the MBS radar goes into code red.....I have to find a ballerina to move to Paris with of course.
Of course this is real life and not a movie so I can't depend on a Carrie Bradshaw ending. But just these few examples prove that Mr. Big Syndrome is real and if affects men everywhere. Men with MBS like Tom think that it's okay to go back and fourth with a woman for a very long time. They can justify it with all the crazy thoughts that go through their head. But, what they don't realize is that women watch sex and the city. That makes us on to their game. We know the pattern of MBS will not soon come to an end if we do not address it. Either at it's next grand entrance we either need to put Mr. Big in his place or banish him forever more. Whatever your decision is when it comes to your own MBS situation remember this: You must tell Mr. Big I have had it or it's time to cut the bullshit. I am the best you will ever have and you obviously cannot replace me. The game ends now and you will give me what I deserve or the game ends now and you will stay out of my life. You have to banish MBS like a ghost forever......
