The worst thing that I have allowed to happen was to let my heart open up to a man who is sick. Not once or twice but many, oh so many times. I am the fool for believing that someone who can not function like a normal human being was capable of change. I closed him off for so long yet I broke those walls down again in so little of time. I guess blind folds go back on easily.
All I wanted to was to be the happiest of girls and I was but the time was so short lived I think I have all ready forgotten what it was like. Just more sparkles in my jewelry box. I wish it was so easy for me to repent my love for you. To act as if it only existed in far away dreams. In lands of make believe and unicorns. My eyes instead are swollen for the floods once again have come as they always do.
Yet I know that as soon as I let go he will return again. Some how the timing is always just right to sabotage all I have worked so hard to accomplish. All because I want to believe in love and all it's beauty. Of all the power it has, so much that I will keep killing my soul over and over again. If you do love me and I know you do....how very sick of a man you are. Do you not realize what you are doing? Feeding me poison so that I die in pain and suffering. Instead you kiss me goodnight.
