First of all I would like to complain......I have been locked out of my blogger account since Friday! This is totally ruining my plans of blogging greatness. But anyway I can't do anything about it, I guess I can just send a hate email to them.
But back to the real story. I have a ring, it's beautiful, it's the same ring Kate Middleton got from Prince William. It's not an engagement ring, it is a just because ring. A right hand ring. Sometimes I put it on my left hand and day dream. I think about changing places with Kate Middleton. About being whisked away by a handsome prince and having all the realities of life disappear. But, I'm not Kate Middleton I am a regular old person with real life problems. My ring is just a replica and I my left hand is bare.
Now I am in no hurry to get to the church and become a Mrs, but I sometimes feel sad about how far away I am from that next chapter in my life. I have always dreamed about what that day would be like, a beautiful gown, a cathedral, and beauty everywhere. Being so happy that I cry tears of joy. But then again what girl doesn't? What girl on this earth doesn't want a happy ending? Kate and William seem so happy and their love so authentic. Just think he broke up with her only to come back and ask for her to be his forever.
People will ask me if I think that will happen with me and Tom. Is he my forever? Is he my soul mate? There have been days where I would say I can't imagine loving anyone else like I love Tom. I would go to the ends of the Earth for him. There are other days where I would say not a shot in hell. Right now I am mixed up. From one hour to the next my feelings for him change. I don't know how I feel anymore. This is the person who one minute tells me he wants to love me forever and the next says he wants to banish me from existence. My emotions are totally screwed up. How can I think about my story ending in a fairytale when for all I know there is some stranger sleeping in my 700 thread count sheets?
Tom has never betrayed me with another woman. He has only betrayed my heart with painful words. But, technically he can do whatever he wants and so can I. Even if Tom isn't my Prince William I shouldn't be thinking about such terrible situations. I am almost thirty, I should be overwhelmed with love and floating on cloud nine. When someone asks me if I could spend forever with my man I should be able to say yes, very soon. I am jealous of my friends when they are so close to marriage just like I am jealous of Kate Middleton. It is not because I want to get married so bad, it's because I know they are so confident in their love. I think it's not fair that some people have it so easy and I have to work so hard. That they get Prince William and I get Tom. I pray every single night that I get some sort of sign of what I need to do to find my fairytale ending and so far all I have received is a break. I just want my Kate Middleton moment, my Prince William to secure my destiny whoever he turns out to be.
